Issue date: 4/30/09 Section: Showcase

Dear Ask Anything,
As the weather continues to get more and more beautiful, people are going outside during breaks and after classes, especially the girls. The ladies are everywhere I go and I have no idea where to begin. As soon as I think I have my mind made up, I decide there are six better places I could go. Where are the best places on campus to pick up the female population?
Sincerely,
Hunny Hunter


Dear Hunter,
The best place to go to pick up the female population on campus would be any women's bathroom, girls flock to those. Unfortunately, I'm guessing you're a boy and that's not a possibility for you.

Luckily for you, since I was a lifeguard all through high school and into college, I know how to people watch and what conditions produce optimal views. Here are my top five places to pick up the opposite sex on campus.

1. Campus mall at noon: Since the weather is getting nice, as you mentioned, people are going to be outside. A number of girls will be laying in the grass, most in groups because most girls don't like to be in public by themselves, so you need to cash in on those hotties. Not only will they be removing a few layers to get some color from the warm sunshine, they'll also be showing a little leg due to the mini skirt season beginning. If you have a cute puppy, take a walk with it around the mall. A puppy is a girl magnet … it's pure science. You also should consider putting together a group of guys for a Frisbee game. Overshoot your throws so they land right in the group of lovely ladies. You won't be sorry.

2. Fourth floor in McIntyre Library: This is where all of the best looking people study, at least in my opinion, because I study on that floor. I think it's important to remember that you don't want to meet just anyone; you want to meet someone with dedication. Since everyone on campus made it to college for having a relatively good head on their shoulders, you want to find someone who uses and applies it. The fourth floor has a variety of ages on the floor studying. I really don't know this for sure, but I studied there when I was a sophomore and I still do as a senior. Share a table with a little cutie and see what happens. Make eye contact, smile and remember to shower.

3. The Cabin on Wednesdays: Along with an intellectual lady, I'm sure you want one that appreciates the arts. Every Wednesday at The Cabin, the jazz club on campus puts on a jazz show. I went to a show for the Evolution of Jazz course I was in last semester and had a good time. You want to know why I know guys can pick up girls there?! When I was doing my assignment, a guy started hitting on me. We chatted it up a bit, realized we both were in the 100 person jazz class. Sadly, no love connection was made, but things could be different for you.

4. Davies coffee/smoothie lounge: The lounge area right next to The Cabin creates a comfortable and welcoming environment for all singles on the prowl. Just so we're clear, I'm not talking about the TV lounge, that's a horrible place to meet girls because everyone knows that's the place you go to nap between classes, not pick up ladies. I have seen a number of good looking people in the coffee/smoothie lounge studying and reading between classes. Many girls seem to hang out to catch up with coffee … why don't you try to catch one?

5. Higherground on Friday and Saturday nights: I'm listing this for the wild child in you and if you live on campus. For those of you who have experienced Higherground on a Friday or Saturday night know that the girls there usually end up being rather, how should I put this … "friendly." Meeting one there should be quite the success and who knows, after the fuzzy glasses come off, could be one heck of an awesome relationship, or it just might end up being a great night. Seems like a win-win for you.

And those are my top five places on campus to pick up ladies or guys. Pick the area where your pickup game is best and get cracking.

Dear Ask Anything,
I have this serious problem everyday at 3 p.m. after my biology lab when I get the munchies hardcore. I go straight to the vending machine and pick out a different candy item each day. I'm not interested in coming up with a way to stop, I want to know a good way to make my decision quickly. With so many delicious options I never know what to do. Give me some suggestions or help me come up with a way to expedite the process.
Sincerely,
Munchie Maniac


Dear Maniac,
I try to avoid tapping into the vending machines as much as possible due to their ridiculous prices and also because they don't provide the healthiest option. I would suggest avoiding the vending machine altogether and hit up the cart lady in Hibbard or Haas, or take a stroll over to Davies to get some grub (you could join Hunny Hunter to pick up some ladies, too!).

I'm a fan of the bagels the cart lady offers. I know other members of The Spectator staff are popular consumers of her bagels. I believe David Taintor bought four bagels in one day … and two of them were for him. Can you say bagel addict? Jeeze … but, they are delicious and a much better option than the junk in the vending machine.

I'm suggesting you go to Davies because if your munchies are as hardcore as they seem, maybe you should consider grabbing a late lunch. A number of options are available for a decent lunch from purchasing a sub or wrap from Sub Connection or the other places that are available.

If you don't want a lunch type meal, they do have cups of fruit, yogurt and small salads available for purchase. These options seem more appealing to me, but if you want to be a pig and oink it up with the fat-roll creating candy bars and potato chips in the vending machine, by all means do so. Hey, maybe when you develop fat rolls your food will get stuck in them and you'll have a late night snack. Mmmm …. yummy!

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