Issue date: 3/26/09 Section: Showcase

Dear Ask Anything,
My friends and I set up a bracket for the NCAA tournament and we bet quite a bit of money. I ran my mouth off a bit saying I had the best bracket of the bunch. My friends challenged me to double my wager and I accepted. Not only did I waste three days of my life last week, but I had to watch nearly every single one of my picks lose. How do I get back the time I wasted and not lose $500?

Sincerely,
Bad Bracket


Dear Bad Bracket,
Five hundred dollars? Are you kidding me? God, I hope you were on such an intense trip you thought you were playing Quidditch against a green polka-dotted hermit crab. Throwing down five hundo-sticks on a March Madness bracket completely sober is inexcusably moronic. You deserve no sympathy - from anyone. I wish I were your friends, at least that way I could justify buying my new iPod Touch online the other night.

For one point of possible anxiety relief, you weren't the only one who watched every game. About 13 friends and I pitched in $20 for food and drinks and hit life's pause button for the tournament. We adjusted everything accordingly so that we could hang out and scream at the last-second jumper. And hey, write this down, we only throw down $5 bets. I know plenty of other people who take this wondrous time off each year - you just joined in. So don't feel bad. You made the right decision as far as watching goes, but you can't hide the stupidity of losing $500. Hey, I wanted the Gophers to win too, but I wasn't about to bet on it.

P.S. I wouldn't be too sure about your friends giving you grace about your debt to them. Given the sheer douche bag arrogance you had, they'll certainly enjoy collecting from you. Tough luck.


Dear Ask Anything,
Last week, I went to Panama City Beach for spring break. I brought my laptop to the hotel we were staying at so we could listen to music before going out. My girlfriend came over to the room my friends and I were staying in one night. I ended up staying somewhere else that night, but when I looked at my computer the next day, I saw that my girlfriend and my best friend had taken 20 photos of themselves making out. There was one video at the end of it, with my girlfriend saying that "All good things must come to an end," where she continued to break up with me. My best friend denies said events taking place, and I have no idea what to do or say to him. I even showed him the photos and the only explanation he could come up with was that his "evil twin" must have shown up in Florida. Should I try to keep him as a friend or should I forget about him?

Sincerely,
Heartbreak on spring break


Dear Heartbreak,
Yikes! I don't even want to ask what the rest of your break looked like. Well, I really do. I bet I'd hear some wicked stories. But what happens in PCB over spring break will stay there even though it kills me to not print it.

OK, down to business…

A) If your girlfriend and best friend are on the trip with you, I think you'd be with them. What are you doing leaving two of the dearest people to you? If I were there, I'd be with them making memories together - well, certainly having fun, the memories may not last the blackout.

B) Ask the witnesses. The whole thing sounds too awful to be authentic. But then again, you may just be attracted to horrible people. If that's the case, my advice is to take this opportunity to find nice, truthful, respectable and

loving friends that won't do things like this to you. Maybe it's the optimist in me poking its head out, but it could be just a wicked prank. You didn't mention talking to your girlfriend about the whole thing to see if she's come clean. I hope you did!

C) In their defense, ya'll were in Panama City Beach over spring break. People make bad, bad, bad, BAD decisions there - remember, you DID leave them.

D) To really answer your question: if the guy was really your best friend, you have history. You have hugged one minute and yelled the next. If he were really your best friend, he wouldn't look you in the eye and give a lame excuse like that. He should fess up and apologize. If he doesn't, peace out yo! Go find some good people to be friends with!

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