Issue date: 10/9/08 Section: Sports

I'm starting to feel that Fantasy Football is worse than Facebook. It consumes your mind and time, yet you get nothing out of it.

I can't count how many hours I've spent trying to figure out which players to put in for week five. Careful consideration went in as I went to at least 10 different web sites looking at their rankings for week five for each position.

I thought I got it, I thought we nailed it, but I guess the Paladins were better than us. On week five we were up against the Paladins.

We had a very solid team, and I was sure we were going to be able to win. Maybe the choices I made were not that good, maybe we should trade players.

Unfortunately, I still haven't got the hang of trading players. I'm afraid that I'll either make a dumb choice, or my league members want to take advantage of me. But maybe that's what happens when you are new in this fantasy game.

I came in my office the other day and The Donald Duckers told me that other teams were "creeping up" behind our team.

I guess they are creepy given the names my fellows have, but nobody is getting on top of us, we just had three bad weeks and our ranking is going down.

Yes, we are now in the sixth position, it sucks. But I guess that the creepy teams behind us are not creeping up, our team is just losing. So their teams are not getting better, it's ours that's getting worse and we need a bailout, too. Not monetarily because how things look now I guess that's not possible, but at least advise.

So far I've only changed Robert Royal for Jeremy Shockey because Royal has a bye week.

Last week put our Dallas' defense up front, thinking it would be a wise decision given the previous Packer's game. I'm no psychic so I messed up, the Packers got more points, so this week I changed it back to the Packers. I guess that teaches me to stay loyal to this state, hopefully it won't ruin us further.

One thing that bothers me is the "185 snaps & counting" team because they weren't even logged in the night of the draft. The computer chose his team and now he keeps getting better every week.

This week we'll be facing them. Week six brings the uncertainties of who will win and get on top. Who knows how this is going to end up.

Hopefully it's going to be like that saying "the last will be the first," so Naughty Parts you still have a chance! I just want our team to be back in the top three, or at least top five. How can we do that? With your help readers! Aaron, where are you, or was it only a one time thing?

Dear reader, please help our team do better. Let me know what information I can give you on our team or others so you can help us out with decisions.

I know you want to help a rookie get the best experience, so she remembers it fondly and not indifferently. We still have time before Sunday's games so comment online at www.spectatornews.com, or just send me an e-mail at lozanoca@uwec.edu.

Whatever method you choose I'll be glad to read your comments and suggestions, which I'm most likely to take. Of course I'll double check it to make sure you're not the Loose Poopmen.

Lozano is a senior print journalism major and sports editor of The Spectator. "Fantasy Virgin" is a column that appears every Thursday.

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