Issue date: 5/1/08 Section: Showcase

Dear Ask Anything,
I think my roommate might be addicted to the Internet. She clicks away all day long. What can I do to help her cope?
Sincerely,
Cyber Savior

Dear Savior,
Clickity, click, click … click-click-click, clickety. Oh - sorry. I was too busy surfing the Web; didn't see your question there. Now … what exactly is the problem?

What I mean is, isn't everybody pretty much addicted to the Internet? We live in a year-round cyber café. Laptop computers, cell phones with Internet access - going online seems just as natural as having two hands and ten fingers.

I guess where one would cross the line is perhaps if your roommate is addicted to a particular genre of Web sites. You have the obvious porno-realm sites, which would tend to be a different topic and type of addiction on its own. Then there is the ever-so-popular Facebook addiction, which seems to be an overwhelming symptom among the everyday-procrastinating-college-student.

You might also find those that are addicted to Web sites offering free-games such as Tetris (or this one game I've caught my co-columnist Scott Hansen playing, and I have no idea what it is called but it involves a naked female doll of sorts and she falls and bounces around - it's ridiculous). At times you might hear these people swearing at the computer or throwing their hands up in rage, but this is just a new-age phenomenon known as techno-turrets - no need to worry.

But, if your roommate is honestly just addicted to aimless clicking on the Internet and doesn't even have the slightest idea which Web sites she is visiting, well maybe you're right in worrying. And, maybe you better make sure she's still conscious.

Then, take her outside and remind her there's a real, live world out there. One full of sunshine and grass blades and double scoops of ice cream in a waffle cone just in time to hit the spot. Ahh … summer is coming (whether or not you believe it after the snow on Sunday), and I fear that might be the only hope for the computer-addict. Good luck.

Dear Ask Anything,
I'm graduating in two weeks and freaking out! My uncle said I could live in his basement, but that is just creepy. I don't know what to do with my life; why has college not prepared me for the real world?
Sincerely,
Liberal Arts Education … Thanks for nothing!

Dear Ungrateful,
Well, first off, if you're so set on the fact that your education really hasn't gotten you anywhere, I hope your creepy uncle who's letting you live in his basement was also rich and paid for your education. Otherwise, six months down the road those student loan payments are going to make you feel the uneducated bite even harder.

On that note, living with your uncle can't be that creepy. My co-columnist Scott Hansen chills out in his uncle's basement on those lazy summer days, and he seems to be doing OK (or … maybe that explains a thing or two.) My question is, why haven't you got other options at this point?

I mean, just because you're graduating doesn't mean you'll be handed a job. That's why it's called a job search. You have to be actively pursuing your career - sticking your brown nose in whichever potential employer's face you see fit. That means hours spent writing cover letters, résumés, licking envelopes and heading to the post office. Actually, I recently read in a magazine that when looking for a new job, one should devote about 15 hours a week to the search. I mean, you can call me crazy, but I am not the one who said it first. My advice-listen to the experts.

The lingering question on my mind is, 'why has college not prepared me for the real world?' Being two weeks from graduation myself, it scares me to think all those weekends spent playing beer pong and flippy cup, the all-day drinking adventures on Homecoming (or most recently those who participated in the AMA Fun Run), the house parties, the Water Street bars, the millions of dollars spent on note cards, notebooks, and printer paper and the occasional late night loaded full of caffeine-from-anywhere-I-can-find-it before that one-big-important-test - all of that didn't prepare me for the real world?

Well, did high school prepare you for college? Um, I don't think so. Honestly, the best I can tell you is to take a chill-pill. If we keep on rattling on and on about being prepared for the next step, pretty soon we'll be living the next step before it gets here, and my six-year-old cousin will be your doctor. Get my drift?

So, enjoy these last two weeks, drink 'em up; then take a break, shack up with that creepy uncle, and hit the cyber world for your job search. Soon enough, your big break will come. And, truth be told, this happens to be my last Ask Anything before I graduate, so together let us say: goodbye Eau Claire. It's been great.

Ask Anything appears every Thursday. Submit questions to Hibbard 108 or petersml@uwec.edu.

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