Issue date: 9/14/06 Section: Editorial/Opinion

Everyone has a list, or at least losers like me do, of things they'd like to say in their lifetime. For me, I've always wanted to get on stage and say, "Thank you Cleveland," in a rock-star voice of course. Others that I've always wanted to say include, "One dollar, Bob" on "The Price is Right," and "I'll take Potpourri for $400, Alex," on "Jeopardy!."

So when my godfather told me earlier this summer that Waukesha would host tryouts for "Jeopardy!" at a Steinhafels warehouse, I jumped at the opportunity.

On Aug. 5, we rolled into the parking lot at approximately 9:30 a.m., an hour and a half before Steinhafels would open their doors. Local radio stations and CBS affiliates plugged the event for weeks prior, informing listeners and viewers that the first 1,000 people would get in. By the time we got there, about 400 people were already anxiously waiting in line to become the next Ken Jennings. The first group of people waited outside the doors at 1:45 a.m.

I thought this whole thing would be a crapshoot from the beginning, but definitely worth trying. At the very least, the experience was fulfilling for the opportunity to see how sad "Jeopardy!" viewers truly are. Several of the people waiting in line, for example, had trivia books and encyclopedias at hand to brush up on their general knowledge (as if that's going to help). A small percentage of patrons even dressed up for the occasion with snazzy shirt-and-tie combinations in 80-degree heat (apparently they didn't get the memo that you don't get on TV right away).

As the minutes flew by, cars rapidly filled the massive parking lot and the line of people stretched farther than my eyes cared to see. After the "Brain Bus" (the famous Winnebago that harbors the "Jeopardy!" staff) pulled in, tensions began to swell. I hope nobody thought Alex Trebek would actually walk out and greet us, because there's not a chance in hell. It wasn't a total loss, though - Milwaukee's champion Michael Falk walked up and down the line waving like Miss America.

As the time came nearer to the grand opening, "Jeopardy!" interns passed out green bracelets to ensure those in line didn't completely waste their time and would actually get in.

When it came time for the test, we sat down at a circular group of desks for a 10-question, fill-in-the-blank quiz. There were roughly six different sets of questions to ensure no one could cheat. Though the "Jeopardy!" representatives refused to say how many you needed to get right, a man next to me suggested that he knew he got eight questions correct. As I filled out the quiz, all was going well until I reached two Biblical questions. I knew right then and there I wouldn't make the cut.

Continued...

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