Musicology 211
Steve Sorensen
Issue date: 2/13/06 Section: Showcase
I am glad to see you are back for week 2 of Musicology 211. I am surprised the ridiculous title to this thing hasn't turned more people away, because apparently Musicology is Greek for "don't read this."
You know what else is Greek? The word poop, which, surprisingly, means "Grammys."
I have been about as open and honest about my distaste for this poor excuse for a musical award ceremony since I was about 3 years old. Yep, I am positive I was 3, because that was around the time U2 started winning them. Don't get me wrong, I love me some old, grey-haired and wrinkly Bono and company, but these guys are way past their prime. Seriously, five Grammys? It's great they can still make a solid record, but it's like if Ricky Henderson made the 2005 MLB All-Star team because he stole some mad bases and hit the ball pretty well in the early 90s. To my knowledge, he is like 74 years old and still playing in the minors.
Moving on.
Because I don't see the Grammys as a viable form of recognition for musical accomplishment, I have decided to come up with my own awards: the Stevies. If I had thought of a better name, it would be changed for sure. My mom used to call me Stevie as she would pinch my cheeks. Since I have about 500 words left, I don't think I will be able to get to all the important awards like "Best Latin Salsa Performance by a Duo or Group on a Tuesday Afternoon." I will leave that one for the Grammys. The Stevies are as follows.
Album of the Year: Sufjan Stevens' "Illinois." I have a really hard time putting into words what makes this album so unique and powerful. From the instrumental arrangements to Stevens' passive yet robust vocals, this is an honest and delicately assembled masterpiece.
Stevens' ability to beautifully tell stories with heavy subject matter is so compelling it rivals early Bob Dylan. In no way am I comparing the two, but there are definite similarities to be drawn. I think Dylan is the only other singer/songwriter besides Stevens that could sing a song about a serial killer from Chicago ('John Wayne Gacy Jr.,' the name of both the person and the song).
Best Album by a Group or Duo: Spoon "Gimme Fiction." I don't care if they are givin' me fiction, this album is the truth, son. Their sound is so fresh it gives you hope for the music industry. At times during this record, I feel as if I am listening to a new and refined indie version of Tom Petty. To test this theory, check out the track "The Two Sides of Monsieur Valentine." I beg you to go to Best Buy and purchase this album (when I say "beg" I mean threaten, when I say "Best Buy" I mean Limewire, and when I say "purchase" I mean download. If you like it, then go buy it). "My Mathematical Mind" is by far my favorite track on the album.
Best Album by a Solo Female Artist: Regina Spektor "Soviet Kitsch" (re-release). Off the charts is all I can say. If Bjork and Tori Amos were to have an illegitimate stepchild, it would be Regina Spektor. This anti-folk artist (not sure what that means, I guess that makes me an anti-crap music fan) from New York has been around for awhile and has developed a very unique sound of piano and string-driven anthems. Fortunately, Regina is just as cunning of a linguist as she is a great piano player, and it makes for a very manic, yet entertaining, album.
Best Album(s) by a Solo Male Artist: Ryan Adams and the Cardinals "Cold Roses" and "Jacksonville City Nights," and Ryan Adams "29." Eat crap and die Connor Oberst, mister. "I can put out two records in a year!" You have been one-upped and outdone my friend, thanks to my personal favorite in the history of the world times 100, Ryan Adams. This collective effort of three discs, or as I call it, "The Holy Trilogy," from Adams was a slight bit inconsistent within particular records but a huge success regardless. Purchase them. They will change your life for the better.
Honorable Mentions: Bloc Party "Silent Alarm," The New Pornographers "Twin Cinema," LCD Soundsystem "Self-Titled," Black Rebel Motorcycle Club "Howl," Doves "Some Cities," The Animal Collective "Feels" and Feist "Let it Die."
Sorensen is a senior advertising major and a weekly columnist for The Spectator.
You know what else is Greek? The word poop, which, surprisingly, means "Grammys."
I have been about as open and honest about my distaste for this poor excuse for a musical award ceremony since I was about 3 years old. Yep, I am positive I was 3, because that was around the time U2 started winning them. Don't get me wrong, I love me some old, grey-haired and wrinkly Bono and company, but these guys are way past their prime. Seriously, five Grammys? It's great they can still make a solid record, but it's like if Ricky Henderson made the 2005 MLB All-Star team because he stole some mad bases and hit the ball pretty well in the early 90s. To my knowledge, he is like 74 years old and still playing in the minors.
Moving on.
Because I don't see the Grammys as a viable form of recognition for musical accomplishment, I have decided to come up with my own awards: the Stevies. If I had thought of a better name, it would be changed for sure. My mom used to call me Stevie as she would pinch my cheeks. Since I have about 500 words left, I don't think I will be able to get to all the important awards like "Best Latin Salsa Performance by a Duo or Group on a Tuesday Afternoon." I will leave that one for the Grammys. The Stevies are as follows.
Album of the Year: Sufjan Stevens' "Illinois." I have a really hard time putting into words what makes this album so unique and powerful. From the instrumental arrangements to Stevens' passive yet robust vocals, this is an honest and delicately assembled masterpiece.
Stevens' ability to beautifully tell stories with heavy subject matter is so compelling it rivals early Bob Dylan. In no way am I comparing the two, but there are definite similarities to be drawn. I think Dylan is the only other singer/songwriter besides Stevens that could sing a song about a serial killer from Chicago ('John Wayne Gacy Jr.,' the name of both the person and the song).
Best Album by a Group or Duo: Spoon "Gimme Fiction." I don't care if they are givin' me fiction, this album is the truth, son. Their sound is so fresh it gives you hope for the music industry. At times during this record, I feel as if I am listening to a new and refined indie version of Tom Petty. To test this theory, check out the track "The Two Sides of Monsieur Valentine." I beg you to go to Best Buy and purchase this album (when I say "beg" I mean threaten, when I say "Best Buy" I mean Limewire, and when I say "purchase" I mean download. If you like it, then go buy it). "My Mathematical Mind" is by far my favorite track on the album.
Best Album by a Solo Female Artist: Regina Spektor "Soviet Kitsch" (re-release). Off the charts is all I can say. If Bjork and Tori Amos were to have an illegitimate stepchild, it would be Regina Spektor. This anti-folk artist (not sure what that means, I guess that makes me an anti-crap music fan) from New York has been around for awhile and has developed a very unique sound of piano and string-driven anthems. Fortunately, Regina is just as cunning of a linguist as she is a great piano player, and it makes for a very manic, yet entertaining, album.
Best Album(s) by a Solo Male Artist: Ryan Adams and the Cardinals "Cold Roses" and "Jacksonville City Nights," and Ryan Adams "29." Eat crap and die Connor Oberst, mister. "I can put out two records in a year!" You have been one-upped and outdone my friend, thanks to my personal favorite in the history of the world times 100, Ryan Adams. This collective effort of three discs, or as I call it, "The Holy Trilogy," from Adams was a slight bit inconsistent within particular records but a huge success regardless. Purchase them. They will change your life for the better.
Honorable Mentions: Bloc Party "Silent Alarm," The New Pornographers "Twin Cinema," LCD Soundsystem "Self-Titled," Black Rebel Motorcycle Club "Howl," Doves "Some Cities," The Animal Collective "Feels" and Feist "Let it Die."
Sorensen is a senior advertising major and a weekly columnist for The Spectator.