He said...She said...The curse of the reality TV show
'Joe Millionaire' and cohorts need to go away, and go away quickly
Issue date: 3/4/04 Section: Showcase
Introducing a new and exciting double opinion column that tries to understand the differences between men and women, but moreso than not, wedges the battle of the sexes even further. Steven Pope is a junior public relations major and Sara Boyd is a sophomore print journalism major. Both are Showcase editors of the Spectator. "He said ... She said ..." is a weekly column that appears every other Thursday.
Steven says ...
I've had enough.
If the television powers-that-be allow one more reality TV show on the airwaves, you'll see me atop of Schofield Hall. And I'll be threatening to jump.
Wait. Hold the firefighters and police. While jumping off our most pristine academic building might be a bit excessive, I will be highly upset if I have to view one more commercial for reality TV.
"Joe Millionaire" or "The Bachelor" ... I don't care what you call them, reality shows are all the same.
There's a standard formula that television executives have been following, and through my powers of deduction, I have figured it out. If you'd like to make your own reality show, follow these simple steps:
First of all, grab either a "regular" man or woman from the masses. If you choose a man, make sure he is one of the biggest tools you'd ever meet. If the subject happens to be a woman, then try to find one with the largest plastic-to-actual-flesh ratio.
Next is the plot. It doesn't get much easier than this. Take the man or woman and bring them to an exotic locale. Preferably, make it an accessible place like Aruba or the Bahamas, somewhere an 'average Joe' would happen to stumble across.
Line your male or female star up with equally superficial members of the opposite sex. Through realistic, everyday dates, such as parasailing and shark hunting, have your subject interact with their potential mates.
Lastly, have your subject eliminate their mates through an over-dramatic ritual until they have discovered the man or woman phoniest for their tastes.
This formula only covers several of today's reality TV shows. Similar recipes exist for shows like "Survivor" and "Trading Spaces," but this column space doesn't allow time for their coverage. We could also delve into shows such as "American Idol," but space (and my stomach) doesn't allow for that.
While I've spent most of my time bashing reality TV, I must confess that a couple of shows have caught my attention. But unlike Sara, they haven't yet caught my heart.
Spike TV's "Joe Schmoe" is perhaps the most realistic of all reality shows. It doesn't pretend to serve a purpose, and spends all its time mocking its straight-faced counterparts. With its large fanbase, the show let me know that I wasn't the only one who despised reality TV.
"My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiance" is another keeper because it plays for the humor angle. It is so ridiculous that it must be commended for having the cojones to go where pretty-boy "Joe Millionaire" and that self-absorbed "Bachelorette" dare not venture.
Sara says ...
OK, I admit it, at first I was very skeptical of reality TV shows and even thought there was no way they would become hits.
However, now you can't even turn on the television without spotting an "Average Joe" here or a "Littlest Groom" there. And, well, I fell for corporate TV's trap. And now, I'm addicted.
It's horrible, but there really was no stopping it. It's just good entertainment. For some odd reason, it's so easy to get enthralled in the lives of these nobodies.
It comes to the point that you couldn't care less that you probably were riding the local bus with these people just last week.
If you play your cards right, you can schedule watching reality TV every single night of the week.
Monday nights it's all about "Average Joe." It's a show out to prove the shallowness of America, and so far has done quite well.
I'm still bitter from the last episode, so I can't really discuss this one as much. I'll just say that wherever you are, Brian Wurth, the girls of 708 Towers South would love to go on a booze cruise with you.
For those of you like myself, who are scared about filling the void of "Average Joe," do not fret. The new "Average Joe," starring the Average Joe from the first episode, will be airing soon.
Tuesday nights air the reality television show that some say started it all. Of course I'm talking about MTV's "The Real World."
A program that shows the world "the true story of seven strangers, picked to live in a house to find out what happens when people stop being polite and start getting real."
In one episode, which happens to be my favorite one, two Real World-ers get a little crazy after a night of drinking and spend a portion of their night in jail. Talk about good television.
Wednesday nights are, of course, reserved for the search for love on "The Bachelorette."
I'm still waiting for my call to be on the show, because really, that's not a bad situation to be in at all.
One girl must go on dates with 25 different gorgeous guys who are all vying for her attention. This is pretty much what I've envisioned heaven to be like.
For all those fans of one of the very first reality TV shows, "Survivor," Thursday is your night. I, however, am more prone to the genius work on "The Apprentice." I would give anything for Donald Trump to jab his hand at me and say the famous words, "You're fired!"
Finally, Friday you have the new craze, "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" on Bravo. And that's really all there is to say about that ... bravo. Well done. You can't help but love those guys and their quirky ways.
Whether we like it or not, watch it or avoid it, reality television is here to stay. And trust me, the second it fades from the airways I will be the first to send in a letter urging its return.
Steven says ...
I've had enough.
If the television powers-that-be allow one more reality TV show on the airwaves, you'll see me atop of Schofield Hall. And I'll be threatening to jump.
Wait. Hold the firefighters and police. While jumping off our most pristine academic building might be a bit excessive, I will be highly upset if I have to view one more commercial for reality TV.
"Joe Millionaire" or "The Bachelor" ... I don't care what you call them, reality shows are all the same.
There's a standard formula that television executives have been following, and through my powers of deduction, I have figured it out. If you'd like to make your own reality show, follow these simple steps:
First of all, grab either a "regular" man or woman from the masses. If you choose a man, make sure he is one of the biggest tools you'd ever meet. If the subject happens to be a woman, then try to find one with the largest plastic-to-actual-flesh ratio.
Next is the plot. It doesn't get much easier than this. Take the man or woman and bring them to an exotic locale. Preferably, make it an accessible place like Aruba or the Bahamas, somewhere an 'average Joe' would happen to stumble across.
Line your male or female star up with equally superficial members of the opposite sex. Through realistic, everyday dates, such as parasailing and shark hunting, have your subject interact with their potential mates.
Lastly, have your subject eliminate their mates through an over-dramatic ritual until they have discovered the man or woman phoniest for their tastes.
This formula only covers several of today's reality TV shows. Similar recipes exist for shows like "Survivor" and "Trading Spaces," but this column space doesn't allow time for their coverage. We could also delve into shows such as "American Idol," but space (and my stomach) doesn't allow for that.
While I've spent most of my time bashing reality TV, I must confess that a couple of shows have caught my attention. But unlike Sara, they haven't yet caught my heart.
Spike TV's "Joe Schmoe" is perhaps the most realistic of all reality shows. It doesn't pretend to serve a purpose, and spends all its time mocking its straight-faced counterparts. With its large fanbase, the show let me know that I wasn't the only one who despised reality TV.
"My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiance" is another keeper because it plays for the humor angle. It is so ridiculous that it must be commended for having the cojones to go where pretty-boy "Joe Millionaire" and that self-absorbed "Bachelorette" dare not venture.
Sara says ...
OK, I admit it, at first I was very skeptical of reality TV shows and even thought there was no way they would become hits.
However, now you can't even turn on the television without spotting an "Average Joe" here or a "Littlest Groom" there. And, well, I fell for corporate TV's trap. And now, I'm addicted.
It's horrible, but there really was no stopping it. It's just good entertainment. For some odd reason, it's so easy to get enthralled in the lives of these nobodies.
It comes to the point that you couldn't care less that you probably were riding the local bus with these people just last week.
If you play your cards right, you can schedule watching reality TV every single night of the week.
Monday nights it's all about "Average Joe." It's a show out to prove the shallowness of America, and so far has done quite well.
I'm still bitter from the last episode, so I can't really discuss this one as much. I'll just say that wherever you are, Brian Wurth, the girls of 708 Towers South would love to go on a booze cruise with you.
For those of you like myself, who are scared about filling the void of "Average Joe," do not fret. The new "Average Joe," starring the Average Joe from the first episode, will be airing soon.
Tuesday nights air the reality television show that some say started it all. Of course I'm talking about MTV's "The Real World."
A program that shows the world "the true story of seven strangers, picked to live in a house to find out what happens when people stop being polite and start getting real."
In one episode, which happens to be my favorite one, two Real World-ers get a little crazy after a night of drinking and spend a portion of their night in jail. Talk about good television.
Wednesday nights are, of course, reserved for the search for love on "The Bachelorette."
I'm still waiting for my call to be on the show, because really, that's not a bad situation to be in at all.
One girl must go on dates with 25 different gorgeous guys who are all vying for her attention. This is pretty much what I've envisioned heaven to be like.
For all those fans of one of the very first reality TV shows, "Survivor," Thursday is your night. I, however, am more prone to the genius work on "The Apprentice." I would give anything for Donald Trump to jab his hand at me and say the famous words, "You're fired!"
Finally, Friday you have the new craze, "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" on Bravo. And that's really all there is to say about that ... bravo. Well done. You can't help but love those guys and their quirky ways.
Whether we like it or not, watch it or avoid it, reality television is here to stay. And trust me, the second it fades from the airways I will be the first to send in a letter urging its return.
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